Kurama's Death
by Takara Taji
Summary: Kurama has passed away, and Hiei regrets everything he didn't do. Has he already lost his only chance to say those forbidden words? Will there be anything he can do to make the fox understand his mistakes?
1. Sickness

The cold early March air was unforgiving as it sliced through the open fields, biting at anything it came in contact with. I stood there, accepting the wind, like it would let me forget all those painful memories that wouldn't depart. I had thought the wind would blow away my memories, just as it had blown away the scent of the only one I have ever truly loved. That's what I had wished, but that wish would always remain un-granted.

Yet somehow I knew I would eventually feel this way, that this feeling would reach me, and devour me and take my soul with it. It would ruin my life, bringing me down to the misery that it was. Could I ever truly let my hidden love for him leave? Would this chilling breeze be able to pull away my troubles, just like it had pulled that rose apart, bit by bit, petal by tender petal? His life had drained away slowly, and he had accepted it with open arms. That pain and suffering he felt for so long brought him down, slowly, and I had to watch every step of the way. It wrenched my heart, it pulled at my soul, it chained me to hell, as I had to look into those dying eyes, and see the sort of contented love that only someone like him could ever hope to possess. Even though he knew what would happen, even though he knew people would mourn forever because of his loss, he made those last words and last expressions something to make people like myself never forget.

The expression of love that shone so brightly in his emerald eyes was directed at those who he knew loved him. He wanted to let those people know that everything would be okay. He wanted to give them comfort, and his gaze enveloped them so warmly that told them he was not scared. I had wanted that gaze. I had wanted to shine my own dark eyes into his and see that love that I never received, that love that I never gave in the first place, and that was my mistake. It was my mistake for keeping my feelings buried under a rock for so long. If only I had opened up to him, like he opened up to so many others, just like the rose that he was, opening up for others to enjoy and care for. All I ever did was sit back and watch, not being able to make myself move that rock and let out those feelings I've had since the day we met.

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**Please review! I have the whole thing written, but I'm posting it here to see how other people like it. It's not too long, four chapters, but if you guys like it, I may add more. We'll see. But please review! Chapters will come quickly.**

**_Takara Taji_**


	2. Love At First Sight

It's often called love at first sight. The victim of this so-called feeling can not help but feel the way he or she does. It pulls them down to a level they've never seen before. It confuses them and makes them think things they've never thought before. When I first saw that red-headed human boy, when I observed his motions and speech for the first time, I almost went and killed myself. There was a burning sensation in my heart that I could not rid myself of. It pained me and pulled at my soul. Whenever I saw that boy distressed, I would find myself distressed, if he was in pain, I, too, was in pain. I didn't understand. What was happening to me? Why was I like this? I soon found myself romanticizing over him: A first kiss under the warm sunset, holding hands as we flew between worlds to slay demons, our technique completely in sync and almost rhythmic to the others' body.

It was only when Yukina was wondering if what she felt towards Kazuma was real love. She was rattling off a list of things that would make her so happy and in complete peace of mind. I had found distinct similarities to what I had been imagining and what Yukina was listing. I realized that this "Love at first sight" saying did apply to me. There was no moment in my life when I did not develop some sort of attraction towards that boy.

Even so my love for him felt so incredibly pure and real, I could not tell him, nor anyone else: not Yusuke, not Kazuma, not Koenma or Botan, and not even Yukina. I could not tell anyone of my love for him. What would they think? A demon such as myself, capable of love? I was a demon killer, human killer, destroyer of peace, and I could not love. That was not my style. That was not my way. I was cold and rude towards everyone and I knew it. I knew I was not a person who others desired to be near. I hated humans, I hated life, I hated the power others' possessed, and yet I allowed myself to fall in love with a mere human boy? They'd get a kick out of that.

True, he was human, but he also was the most well-known bandit in all of Makai. But his human side weighed heavily on his strength and he was no more than a strong human while his demon counterpart was hidden. Was it the demon in him that attracted me so, or was it actually the human? I didn't know, and now it was too late to find out. He was gone. I'd never look into those shining eyes ever again, or feel his skin near mine as we fought in battles that would no longer exist.

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**I dont' really have anything to say but review! hehe... This is my favorite chapter **


	3. History

I remember the first fight we shared together, and I remember the sting of his rose whip against my back as I was pummeled to the ground, spraining my ankle. Another lash of that whip landed on my head and I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, I remember smelling a soothing scent, one that made me want to fall back into unconsciousness, although this time in complete bliss. Looking over to my right was when I first caught a good look at that human boy who was to invade my mind until the day he would die. He was sitting in a chair against the wall, his head leaned back, eyes closed, steady breathing, his lips parted slightly. I remember wondering how he was able to sleep so peacefully when a dangerous demon was sleeping just feet away.

He must have sensed my movement, because he opened his eyes suddenly, and almost startled me. I wondered if he was really asleep to begin with. I would soon begin to think he was a strange character. He never panicked; he never showed any emotions or readable gazes, which was, I found out, why I lost to him the first night we met.

Over the next few months we fought side by side, slaying the demons who found their ways into the human world. We knew each other well, as if we had known each other since the day we were born. He knew of my past, of my life, of my character, and because of this, I could not tell him how I felt. My feelings were to stay buried within my heart forever. I could not ruin my reputation over love, especially over a human. I had grown accustomed to hiding feelings since I was a small child, but this was different. This was a feeling that was alien to me.

We joined the Rekai Tantai, and were with them for several years. Those were the best years of my life. I acted cold and rude towards everyone, but they knew it was just my way. But despite everything, we all became good friends, and even if I didn't show it, Yusuke and Kazuma knew I accepted them. The only one who I showed any other emotion towards was that red-haired human boy. He knew he held a special place in my heart. How he found out through my cold exterior, I had no idea, but that was his job. He could uncover things like that. Although, to this day I have no idea if he knew that I loved him. Somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. But since he is now gone, I have no way of finding out, and since I have lost my chance of ever receiving love from him in return, I must show him love the only way I know how, and finally let him know how much he meant to me.


	4. Final Goodbye

It was the night after his wake. Everyone had left: the sorrow-stricken, depressed family members and friends of the loved human boy. His mother, overcome with grief, had retired to bed. Like I had so many nights before, I jumped up to the branch of that old oak tree that stretched its branches towards the human's bedroom window. It was still slightly ajar from when I left that last time, just three hours before his death. I knew it would be the last time. I knew he was leaving, and I had come to say goodbye. He had insisted on spending the last few days of his life at home, where many of his cherished memories remained. When I sprinted out the window that one last time, I couldn't help tears from flowing down my pale cheeks. I knew I would never see that one person that I've loved so much ever again, and that's what hurt the most.

I wrapped my fingers around the bottom of the window frame and pushed the window open silently, and slid into the cool room. Nothing had been touched. The bed was still unmade from when his stepfather carried his lifeless form out of the room, his entire body shaking from quiet sobs. School textbooks and open journals were spread about his desk, not once touched since his sudden illness. The closet door was slightly ajar, and inside I could see the long green and white tunic he wore whenever called on a mission. His scent still wafted around the room, and I tried to absorb as much of it into my senses, to try and remember what it felt to be around him, surrounded with his presence.

Several minutes later I brought myself to take the steps over to the door, which had been slammed shut in his mother's frustration, anger, and sadness at her son's death. Silently opening it, I stepped into the hallway and followed the familiar path down to the living room, where the flowers, pictures, and fragrances were still set up from his wake earlier that evening.

Crossing the wooden floor, I approached the well-made casket, which was still open, allowing fresh air to cascade around the boy's face one last time before it was forever darkened. My heart sped up and my throat ached as I came to stop just inches away from the edge. His head lay on white satin pillows and flowers were arranged around his silhouette. He wore white robes and his crimson hair was spread across the sheets. Is simply looked as if he was sleeping peacefully in his own bed, but he would never get that chance again.

I shook my head when I remembered that I had come for a reason, and that was to say my last goodbye. I reached under my cloak and pulled my tear gem out from against my chest, holding it in my shaking hands. I stared at it for quite a while before slipping it off my neck. I laid it across the edge of the casket, and with trembling fingers, reached behind his neck and felt for that one certain rose. His hair was warm and tickled my fingers as I grasped the stem and pulled it back towards me. As I looked at it, weakening power surged from the petals and thons, yearning to be back with its master. So many memories were connected to this one simple rose. It was the rose that had first injured me in our first meeting, it had slain many demons, and protected the weak, and now, it would die with him. Its wielder was gone, so it, too, would leave. The petals were becoming more frail and tender with each passing moment as its power weakened even further, as it had no way to keep its power strong, as its master was now dead.

I placed the rose on his chest and perfectly situated his hands over it. His fingers seemed to fall just right, as if protecting the rose, the one that had always protected him. Now I picked up my tear gem. It was warm from my own body heat. Squeezing it in my palms for a few minutes more, I wrapped the cord around that human boy's wrist, hiding it under his palm. It lay next to the rose, the petals wrapping around it, hiding it.

"Goodbye Kurama," I whispered, reaching out to stroke his hair. "I love you. I know you probably knew that, but I'll say it anyway." Despite the oncoming tears, I couldn't help myself but grin a little. "Please, wait for me on the other side. If I wasn't able to be with you in this life, I will be in the next." With trembling lips, I leaned down and kissed his forehead, the skin cold beneath mine. With tears only shed once before, I fled the scene, ruffling the curtains as I flitted out the window and back into the cool night air, bitter wind biting at my skin and freezing my tears.

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**Did you like it? It's just a kind of short little thing I wrote over a series of months, actually. I just thought up a bit at a time. If you liked this, you might be able to check out my other YYH fics I have posted: Cold Night Wind and Troubled Love. Troubled Love is my yaoi fic, and Cold Night Wind is more of a friendship fic, but also my most popular story. So hope you can check out and review to them (both complete) and please review to this last chapter of Kurama's Death. Thank you for reading, and if you guys like it I may write a sequal to this of possibly Kurama in the spirit world (?) who knows, if you guys think it's a good idea. Review and thank you!!!**

**_Takara Taji_**


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